Love Drunk ft Martin Johnson from Boys Like Girls
by TheBeehive
Summary: title says it all..
1. Chapter 1

"It's over,"

Two words and I'm in a permanent heartbreak. I can't believe she dumped me like that. She threw me out the door as if I were a piece of trash lying around on her bedroom floor. How dare she dump me for some boy who caught her eye at my own party? Bitch, you can't just dump me and think that it's over like that. But oh, it was over when she said those words and I've never ever had this kind of encounter before and I don't think I'd ever want to experience it again. Time and time again I have thought that even though she insulted me and told me negative things about me and said that I didn't love her as much as she loved me, we were gonna last forever. You know, most people think that way when they find a pretty girl like her. Sure she was pretty, sure she was hot but when words come out of her big mouth, I just wanna shut it and never open it up again. But we did have lots of good times. Some I probably could never forget but too bad she never really meant anything she said.

She told me she loved me, she told me she cared. She told me that everything was nice about me from my clothes to my hair. I didn't think she'd go that far. I didn't think she'd actually be the one controlling the whole relationship but I let her and now she has slipped from my fingers and I let her get away. I let her give me sorrowful pain and I let her get her way yet again and I lost my way. But I didn't lose my way just now, I lost it long before while I was still with her.

Last night, she was intoxicated when she dumped me and well today, I'm here at the airport sulking in my seat waiting for my plane to the opposite side of the country. I wasn't going to let this get to me. I needed to have fun and I needed to just be myself and forget her. But it seems as if I'm not even beginning to try to do anything I tell myself to. My head keeps telling me to do so many things but my heart's not listening. It's lost in some kind of trance and I swear it's annoying the hell out of me. It's like my mind wants to go one way but my heart wants to go the other and I just don't know which one I should listen to.

I took a deep breath and told myself it was going to be fine. I took another breath and said that I was going to forget it all in the plane. But when we boarded and her favorite movie played on screen, I couldn't handle it so I plugged in my iPod and drifted away to the songs I made but I wasn't calm enough. I didn't want to listen to these songs. I wanted to do so much more so I got a pad of my paper from the compartment of the seat in front of me and grabbed the pen that was in my pocket and started writing down what I felt. It turned into something poetic and some kind of tune started making its way through my mind. I couldn't wait until this flight was over so I could start finalizing crap and prepare a surprise song for everyone at the show. I tore the piece of paper and placed it in my pocket so I could do something with it later.

I do so much for everyone else and yet I don't do shit for me. One day, maybe I will but for now, the band comes first.

"Lighten up, Marty! We don't want you looking all sullen in the show." Paul told me as soon as we got out of the plane. I hardly acknowledged his comment since I wasn't in the mood to care. It sounds stupid but then isn't everyone stupid after a heartbreak? I don't know about everyone else but I'm extra stupid after heartbreak. And turns out this isn't really going as planned.

To be honest and frank, this is the first heartbreak I've ever had. Now that might sound unbelievable but usually in all the relationships I've been in, I was the one who caused it and well maybe this is just karma slapping me right back across the face. FML.

After we got our luggage, we headed to the hotel to check in to and get settled before the show tomorrow. But once I got to my room, I dropped everything on the floor and picked up my guitar from its case and sat on the bed. I got the piece of paper and I started to make a tune for the pathetic words I wrote on the paper.

The song's called The First One and it practically explains everything I'm feeling right now…

Even though you're gone and far away  
I feel you all around  
I think about it every single day  
You got away somehow

I can't sleep, it's hard to breathe  
And I still feel you next to me  
Now I can see

The first one is the worst one  
When it comes to a broken heart  
Your first love  
Yeah, your soul's gone  
And you feel like a falling star  
There's a fire in the city  
That's burning out tonight  
And you're breathing  
But you're buried alive  
The first one is the worst one  
When it comes, when it comes to a broken heart

Spinning like a movie in my head  
I've seen a thousand times  
I've learned to take it hard and fall instead  
I'm sittin' safe on the sidelines

Lost days, pictures fade  
Somehow you're still miles away  
It's safe to say

The first one is the worst one  
When it comes to a broken heart  
Your first love  
Yeah, your soul's gone  
And you feel like a falling star  
There's a fire in the city  
That's burning out tonight  
And you're breathing  
But you're buried alive  
The first one is the worst one  
When it comes, when it comes to a broken heart

... just to kiss you  
I'm out here on my own  
Better ... us before  
But I miss you and I want you to know

I can't sleep, it's hard to breathe  
And I still feel you next to me  
And I can see, yeah

The first one is the worst one  
When it comes to a broken heart  
Your first love  
Yeah, your soul's gone  
And you feel like a falling star  
There's a fire in the city  
That's burning out tonight  
And you're breathing  
But you're buried alive  
The first one is the worst one  
When it comes, when it comes to a broken heart

The first one is the worst one  
When it comes to a broken heart  
Your first love  
Yeah, your soul's gone  
And you feel like a falling star  
There's a fire in the city  
That's burning out tonight  
And you're breathing  
But you're buried alive  
The first one is the worst one  
When it comes, when it comes to a broken heart

I looked up at the ceiling and lay down on my bed and clutched my phone really tight hoping she might tell me that she was wrong and all that crap but nothing happened so I guess it's time to move on…


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up with my guitar on top of me realizing that I had somehow fallen asleep after everything I did. It was about 4 in the afternoon and the show was like an hour from now. Just when I put my guitar aside and sat up on the bed, someone knocked on my door. I got up and opened it while rubbing the sleep off my eyes.

"Come on already," John said annoyed.

I yawned and then closed the door. I looked at the mirror before placing my phone in my pocket and fixed my hair. It was messed up but well I really didn't care anymore. I got the key card off the holder and went out of the door. I stared at all the worried faces who were staring right back at me and I could see all the anxiety they held inside as we had stare offs. I didn't do anything about it 'coz well I was too depressed to even think about something, anything to say to them. What was I supposed to say anyway? Was I supposed to lie and tell them I was fine when in fact I'm not even a kilometer close to the word? I practically needed time to move on and all this was crashing hard on me but hell, what can I do?

"You wanna cancel the show?" my manager asked me but I instantly shook my head showing him a sign that I really must go on and spill my guts out.

Everyone sighed and started moving towards the elevator. We got in when the doors opened and went to the ground floor where the main lobby is located. All our equipment was already in the bus so we didn't really have much to worry about it. I just held the paper tightly and walked to the bus with a smile plastered on my face for the whole world to see. I was always great at hiding my emotions from people but this time, I don't think that might be evident in me. What she did was just too much and she just surprised be and well I guess she didn't really know me all to well. She didn't know enough that a blow like this could ruin my life. She always was one step ahead but right now, I guess I got her all wrong.

I guess I never really knew her much and I'm thinking that everything that happened between us was nothing and it was all a fictional tale about two people who fell in love for a certain period of time and then once the girl got tired, she left him for someone else. Story of my life. But you know, all this sulking is making me uber tired and I think that I have to get over it now.

Okay, I'm being a bit overdramatic but hey, you can't blame a guy who just suffered from a harsh break up not to be like this. I thought she was everything but well when all you know is wrong, who can you blame, really?

Half an hour later, we all arrived at the empty venue. We got into rehearsals and then we magically transformed our look from the I-just-got-out-of-the-airplane look to the I'm-ready-to-get-on-stage look. We were all pretty stoked for the show and well so was I but I was nervous at the same time. One reason was about the song. I taught Paul the song and he taught it was pretty cool and we're going to play it in an acoustic version since well we didn't think it'd sound good if we played it with the full band. It would probably sound like a really rough demo.

"Get ready, you're on in five," the roadie told us and that was our cue to get our butts out of the backstage dressing room and get out there and face the rest of the world who paid to see us.

"Everyone, please welcome… BOYS LIKE GIRLS!!" the stage director or whatever welcomed and we all paraded on stage and everyone cheered for us.

"What's up Arizona?" I said into the mic already feeling the heat from the Arizona sun. Everyone hollered back.

"It's so out here, don't you think?" I asked and watched how everyone a big smile on their face as they screamed for me to take off my shirt.

"Maybe in a little while," I smirked and they all screamed. "So anyway, we're gonna start this show off with a little something new." I said and received oooh's and aaaah's from the large crowd in front of me.

I started singing once Paul played the intro to the song I taught him minutes ago and as I sang the song, I could feel myself slowly letting go. I liked the feeling so I started singing a bit more enthusiastically and that pumped up the crowd. I felt the weight of the world lifting off my shoulders and well it's true I was once Love Drunk but well now, I'm hung-over and I think I'm gonna stay like this for a little while longer.

The show started rolling and well the crowd didn't really get what they wished for since I don't really like taking my shirt off and perform half naked. It felt weird doing that. I tried doing that once in a band practice and I seriously didn't like the feeling of nothing wiping the sweat running down my back. And I seriously have this thing about being nude in front of the rest of the world. It's embarrassing really.

"Stay tuned for our upcoming album everyone and be sure to pre-order it when it comes out probably months from now." I said and they all laughed. "Oh, and thanks for being a great crowd!" I screamed in to the mic and they all cheered.

We all ran down from the stage and went to the back to change from our sweaty attire and messed up hair. You really can't blame rock stars for being metrosexual… Anyway, I changed into the clothes I wore all the way here and put deodorant before putting my shirt on.

We had a meet and greet thing so we had to rush out and get into the meet and greet place. I was the last one out since I didn't really pay attention to people telling me to hurry the fuck up I mean what's the hurry? I looked at my phone with hopeless thoughts and got what I wasn't looking for. I got a reminder from my calendar that it was our 11th monthsary today but well that's sorta useless now that I'm not with her anymore. Weirdly, I just kept my phone and headed for the door and sat on my chair.

I started signing things for people and giving some small talk that made people blush. I mean like even when I say 'hey' or 'thanks' when they compliment me, they just start getting all giggly and then the try to hold back screams and squeals. It was all so funny how they held it all back.

But there was one girl who was all cool and collected when she came up to me. She asked me to sign something for her and then she told me that she really liked the song and couldn't wait for the album. We started to talk a bit more when she asked me what the song was about and since she was holding up the line, I asked one of the roadies to escort her to our bus and she asked if she could bring a friend and well I agreed.

I don't really know what came over me when I agreed to all that but well I guess fans like her are pretty cool and we could be friends and crap like that and I needed to see where things like these went and I think she'd be the perfect test.

But all I can say now is that I'm no longer love drunk over that girl but instead, I'm sober enough to try new things.


	3. Chapter 3

Her name was Quinn Austin. She lives in Arizona and she loves the beach. She hates the snow. She loves the band and she can't wait for the upcoming album. She and I are now bestfriends. She's not looking for a relationship and I just want someone to trust so it's a perfect match. Not love wise but you know, we sorta just click in a way that bestfriends do. We have tons of things in common and she loves to write. She sings too. She knows how to play the piano and she has a really cool keyboard in her apartment. She lives with her friend, Steffy and they've been living together as friends for more than two years now. Quinn loves chocolates but she hates white chocolates. She really loves frappuccinos from Starbucks. She loves Italian food and loves to eat pizza. Her favourite kind of pizza is a four cheese pizza with extra anchovies on top. She has about 3 other siblings – two brothers and one other sister – and they're all as into music as she is. She moved out for college and she visits her family when someone has a birthday or if she feels like it which is almost always. She likes to have a good time and she loves taking pictures. She edits most of them and posts blogs on Tumblr. She loves watching House, White Collar, Glee, The Vampire Diaries, How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, Cougar Town and so much more. My band and All Time Low are her top two favourite bands and I plan to arrange a meeting with them so she can finally meet them and crap like that. Isn't it amazing how someone can learn so many things in just two months? Maybe for you it isn't much but for me, as a friend, that's a whole lot already. She and the guys get along well and she's actually a favourite. She isn't plastic like the other girls and she's really nice. She doesn't hang with us for the fame or freebies but she hangs because she thinks we're cool and great. I'm not assuming all this, she told us this a few weeks ago.

But one really amazing thing she did for me was that she gave me hope and made me forget about everything that was bothering me. She helped me get through that lame break up and made me alive and new again. I was a whole new me with great friends who support me through everything.

Today was Christmas Eve and everyone was doing their last minute shopping everywhere so a gig at the mall was going to be a blast. While we were getting ready, Quinn and Steffy were Christmas shopping. They were trying to look for the "perfect" gifts for us but we really didn't need them anymore but since they insisted, there was nothing I could do about it.

We played about five songs in a music store and got some good stuff out of it. Nothing out of the ordinary happened though. Once the set had been cleared up, I went out of the music store – since it was still crowded and noisy – and made a call. Now I might not have the most perfect material gift for Quinn and Steffy but at least I try, right?

"What's up my man?" Alex greeted after a few rings.

"Yo, dude what are you doing tonight?" I asked hoping he'd be free.

"Not much really, just this gig at MTV." He said and I rolled my eyes.

"Where are you exactly?" I asked.

"Arizona," Perfect.

"Cool, what time does your gig end?" I asked excited.

"Midnight? I don't know man," he said.

"Hmm, can you and the guys make it to my party?" I asked spontaneously. Reality check: there was no party planned at all.

"And here I thought this was gonna be a special night for both of us." He said playfully and I laughed. "Sure man, just send me the deets and I'll spread the word."

"Cool, thanks, brah." I said and ended the call.

Okay objective one complete. Now, I just need a place with decorations, drinks, food and fireworks. That's not gonna be so hard with fun friends.

"Marty!" Quinn called out.

"Yea?" I said and she rushed over.

"What are we doing tonight?" she asked with tons of paper bags hanging from her arms.

"We're going to party. Why?" I asked and her eyes lit up.

"Perfect. I bought decorations and chips!" She said.

"I don't think that's gonna be enough for everyone." I said and her face fell.

"Really? Who else is coming?" She asked and I just smiled.

"So is everybody ready?" Quinn asked as we climbed up the last of the steps blindfolded.

Quinn and Steffy took care of the decorations and the place while the guys and I took care of the food since they didn't really know what a party would be like in our style. We almost consumed everything we earned today but it was worth it since well its Christmas.

"I'm not really sure what to be ready for," Paul said nervously.

"Aww, c'mon Paul, we worked hard on this." Steffy said.

"Fine, can we take the blindfolds off now?" he asked and I grabbed for mine.

"Okay, go!" Quinn said and I was the first to take the blindfold off.

We were on the rooftop of some building and the decorations were off the hook. There were lights streaming from post to post, ping pong tables at the side, a long table with all the food and drinks we bought and red cups. There were doodles everywhere but where we were currently stepping in; there was a circle that said 'BLG was HERE'. It was all so cool and awesome and I couldn't wait to get this party over with so everyone can see the awesome venue.

After checking the whole place out, we sent out the details and within 20 minutes, people started filling in. It surprised me how quick they arrived. Steffy said that it might be because the place was a really popular hang out in this part of town and I guess that's why it all seemed so perfect.

When All Time Low arrived in the scene, I gave both Quinn and Steffy blindfolds and led them to the entrance. It was sorta clear that they were nervous since their hands were shaking. I let the guys in before I took away their blindfolds and both their jaws just literally dropped.

"Whoa," was the first word that came out of Quinn's mouth while Steffy just remained star struck complete with the open jaw and shaky hands.

"Hey," Alex said winking at Quinn.

"H-hi," she stammered.

"Guys, this is Quinn and Steffy," I said introducing them to each other.

They all greeted each other before getting into the main party. The DJ started spinning tracks and everyone started helping themselves with the food and drinks on the tables. People sat on the edges and some even sat on the floor. They all seemed to have a good time.

An hour later, people filled the place up. Some other bands were here too like Forever the Sickest Kids, Hey Monday, We The Kings, The Friday Night Boys, You Me At Six, and a lot more. The party was packed and everyone or at least almost everyone was dancing on the dance floor and having the night of their lives. I looked around as I went across the crowd and got myself something to drink. I picked up a red cup and poured myself a cup of beer. I wasn't planning on getting wasted tonight. I mean I'm having a great time; I'm letting myself go and freeing all the pain inside me but somehow, seeing Quinn and Alex not more than 5 inches away from each other made me a little queasy. I didn't get why I felt this way or why I even cared. I mean she's always had a crush on Alex so this is where she was happiest but something in me said that I wouldn't be happy if they were together.

Cleary, I was being selfish and thoughtless. I mean this is supposed to be a fun-filled party and I wasn't supposed to sulk in envy. So when she caught me staring, I just winked at her and smiled and she smiled back but returned to her conversation and that's when Alex surprised her with a kiss. And that was when I turned back to the table and threw away my now empty cup. Screw this, I'm gonna get wasted and I'm gonna let myself go; for real this time.


	4. Chapter 4

So the night turned into day and my clear vision became blurry. People started clearing out and I was on the edge just sitting there staring at the view before me. I didn't do anything stupid and I wasn't wasted. I drank enough to make me buzzed, not crazy. I didn't want to wreck the party by doing something stupid.

When Paul saw me alone, he came up to me and took a seat – with comfortable distance – beside me. He already knew what my problem was. He knew me so well. So instead of confirming what he thought was my problem, he said, "She's not going anywhere. Trust me." He said giving my shoulder a quick tap. I wanted to believe him badly but I couldn't make myself do what I wanted to do. My head says yes but my heart says no. I wanted to know myself if she was going to be with him or not. I still had a sense of sanity in me and I still had a heart so I just couldn't pick myself up and walk to Alex, who until now was still with Quinn, and punch him. It was senseless anyway if I did push through with that plan and I would only get into more trouble. Next thing I know, we'd drift apart and she'd be with him forever when she could've been with me.

You may call me sweet or thoughtful but I don't think I'd give a damn. Truthfully, I've never liked anyone like Quinn and I think instead of falling for her, I'm crashing down on her – crashing hard. I'm beat up as it is and I need my heart to mend before I can actually jump into another relationship but I don't know. Maybe she can mend this fucked up, broken heart of mine. If you're asking, no, she won't be a rebound. I'd treat her better than anyone I've ever met in my life.

As I think about these things, I realize that I'm not staying true to my words but somehow, it doesn't matter. At times like these, it never does. I'm falling for someone who has someone better so why am still strung out like this? What a question to ask myself.

I sighed for maybe the millionth time tonight. I needed to go back to the hotel and rest my eyes out. I've seen too many things that I would want to erase from my mind.

"Hey Paul, you think you guys'll be alright here if I go on ahead?" I asked and he looked at me anxiously.

"Yeah, I think we can handle it. I mean the party's winding down so I don't think we'll have a problem." He said drinking more of his beer as he stared out ahead.

"Thanks man," I said getting off of the ledge.

I tried to go unnoticed but people kept saying bye and asking me where I was headed to. So much for trying to leave unnoticed. When I was about to start venturing down the stairs, someone tapped on my shoulder which made me look back before taking one step down.

"Where are you going?" Quinn asked with hands on her hips and head cocked to one side as if she had authority over me.

"Back to the hotel," I said keeping my answer short and concise.

"Why?" She asked me putting her hand on either side of her.

"I'm just really tired." I said yawning to show her exactly how tired I was. But clearly, I just wanted to get away from the scene. It wasn't for me. Not tonight.

"But you barely did anything…" she said and I had to smile at that.

"It doesn't really matter, does it?" I asked her leaning against the rails.

"Well… why can't you stay? I mean it's about over." She said. Man, this is going to be hard but luckily I can make stuff up I mean everyone can make stuff up right?

"See you said it yourself. The party's over so it's about time to go now." I said looking aimlessly down the stairs.

"Fine whatever," she said.

"Hey, don't do that. You had fun with Alex, right?" I said most probably aiming to torture myself. Guess what? It worked.

"Well, yeah but I hardly got to spend any time with you." She said nudging me gently with her fist.

"It's okay. You can tell me all about what happened later today." It was already 3 in the morning. What else can I say?

"Promise?" she said bringing up her pinky finger for a pinky swear.

"Promise." I said locking her pinky with mine.

With that, she let me have my way and I started going down. Alone.

Finding my car wasn't a problem since I parked right in front of the building. I hopped in and drove to the hotel where I slept for a good 8 hours. I woke up to the sun streaming from the window since I was stupid enough to forget to close the curtains. I think I may have shed a tear or two earlier this morning since my pillow's a bit wet but then again maybe it's just me drooling over my pillow.

I took a shower in the bathroom long enough to pass the time. When I came out, I saw that someone slipped a note through the front door. It went like this:

_Hey Martin, come down for brunch. We'll be waiting in the lobby ;) _

_Quinn._

I was ready to face her now. The bath says it all. No, I'm just kidding. My heart says its fine now so I guess this is where I have to hold my ground with my bare hands.

After a quick change of clothes, I grabbed my phone and everything else that were important and darted down the hall and went down the elevator.

When the doors opened, I saw Quinn and Steffy giggling about something and when she saw me and I saw that smile, I knew that everything was going to be okay. This is the real thing and I guess it's alright. Or at least I'd like to think so.


	5. Chapter 5

"How was your sleep?" Quinn asked as soon as I approached them.

"It was nice," I said vaguely.

I looked around the lobby and saw Paul, Bryan and John scarfing down some food. Some appetite they had. Steffy, Quinn and I walked up to them and then we went to get some food. Paul still had that anxious look on his face as he watched me talk to Quinn. Did he seriously think I'd break down all of a sudden? Please, I'm no sissy girl. I'm a guy who can stand up for himself and can hold his ground no matter what the situation. Why can't anyone understand that?

I filled my plate with a bagel and some salami. This hotel served such good looking food. I just hop they taste as good as they look. Following behind me, Quinn was filling her plate with some bread and a pack of strawberry jam. She wasn't really filling it up after that. She was simply tailing me.

"You know, you can go ahead and sit down," I told her as I thought of filling my plate with so much food that you won't be able to see the plate anymore.

"Nah, I was thinking we'd get a separate table so I can keep my promise," she said and I turned back to look at her.

"What promise?" I asked curiously.

"You know, that we'd spend time together today?" she said and I gave out an 'Oh'

I quickly grabbed more food and then we started towards an empty table with only two seats. As soon as I sat myself down, I started eating. I didn't realize exactly how hungry I was until I placed some scrumptious food into my mouth. I wonder how much you have to pay for all this if you came here on a regular basis. While I was eating, Quinn was looking at me with a smile on her face. I won't lie. She had a very bright smile. That kind of infectious smile that can make you smile back even when you don't feel like smiling.

"Aren't you gonna eat?" I asked with my mouth filled with salami.

"I will," She said giggling at my muffled tone.

"So what happened last night?" I asked after swallowing. I didn't think I'd ask but since it was starting to get silent, I guess I had to start with something.

"Well, not much really. I mean Alex and I hung out and had fun but I couldn't really let myself take in all that fun completely." She said opening her small pack of jam.

I cocked an eyebrow as she spread some jam on her bread. "Why? I mean I thought you wanted to meet Alex and the rest of All Time Low…" I said and she looked up at me and sighed.

"Martin, you weren't having any fun at all so I sorta felt guilty. I mean it was supposed to be our party so I expected you to be with some people and you know, party?" she said as she fed herself with some bread.

"It doesn't matter, Quinn. You had fun and you got to fulfil that dream of seeing one of the bands you've wanted to see ever since… I don't know. Point is, it happened and you should've had fun." I said drinking the glass of water that was filled by the waiter that passed by.

"Well, that dream wouldn't have been fulfilled if it weren't for you so thanks. I mean Alex is a fun guy and I had a great time with him last night but he couldn't keep his eyes off of Steffy so I didn't really end up being the luckiest girl in the world." She said sullenly.

I looked at her with pity in my eyes. How could he do that to such a beautiful girl?

"Does Steffy know?" I asked while finishing what was left on my plate.

"Yea but only after he left me for her," her eyes started to well up and tears were about to sprout out but then she took a deep breath telling me that she had everything under control. She was breaking apart at the seams and it was clear as day. I can't believe I'm just sitting her watching her fall apart.

"I'm sorry," I said looking right in her eyes.

"You don't have to apologize. You weren't the one who left me." She sighed and drank her glass of water.

"When did that happen anyway?" I asked and she cocked an eyebrow at me. "I mean about him leaving you." I continued.

"Well, it was shortly after you left. Steffy didn't come home until this morning."

"I can't believe this," I said as my temper started boiling up.

"Martin, it's fine now. I mean she apologized," she said but I still wasn't contented.

I thought she was better off with him and I guess I was wrong. There's nothing I can do about Alex but this was probably the most perfect time to cheer her up. I'd take her out today and we'd spend time together and she'll see that I can treat her right. It was all so clear to me now. We were meant to be together. True fact, true statement, it was true enough. But when I was about to ask her out, her phone started ringing. She excused herself as she took the call. It was a short one but it most probably held a lot of meaning since she was smiling again when she made her way back to the table.

"That was Zack on the phone and he just told me that he was on his way here." She said getting all giggly.

"Wait, what?" I asked surprised.

"Zack was there for me when Alex left. Isn't he sweet? And now he's taking me out to cheer me up." She said and that statement just shot right through me. I think that maybe they whole world must have heard that because that was deep and loud.

"That's great," I said looking at my not empty plate.

"There he is now. See you later, dude." She said getting up and leaving me.

I wonder how many times she'll be doing that. I wonder how many more times I have to end up alone. I wonder how many times I have to take the fall and I wonder how many more shots I have to take before she realizes that I can be that someone for her.

I took that bullet and it was the shot heard 'round the world.


	6. Chapter 6

Well I guess it's not a surprise that she left me. I mean I left her yesterday so maybe I did deserve her ditching me for someone who stayed with her last night. I should've waited and I should've comforted her after what happened. But didn't she say that she would spend more time with me today?

It's about twelve in the afternoon so I guess when she meant day, she meant morning and not the afternoon or evening. I don't really know what she has with Zack yet but hopefully it won't be something official or totally serious. Well, I do want what's best for her and maybe I can give her that but I can't ask her to stay away from the rest of the world so I guess I'll just have to wait until she makes her way to me.

Lately I've been thinking loudly in my head hoping she could hear my thoughts but it's impossible really. I just wish that she'd realize exactly how I feel and hope that she feels the same way too.

Now I know I sound desperate but what more can I say when someone's walking around taking my breath away? I guess I shouldn't just dream about what I'm thinking and act on it but I don't know. I just can't find the right time I guess.

The clock kept ticking as I looked at the people around the lobby. I was through finishing the food that was left on my plate and now, I'm just here sitting on an empty table wondering what Zack and Quinn might be doing. But maybe Zack would be good for her. Maybe he can learn to care for her just like I do or maybe even more. But then again, maybe I'm over analyzing the situation and it might not be as bad as it seems.

I got up from my seat since the loneliness was starting to grow on me and walked to the elevators and went up to my floor. The others already left when Quinn and I sat for brunch so they were most probably already in their rooms.

I knocked on Paul's room first knowing that he'd know exactly what to tell me about all this.

"Hey, man. What's up?" Paul said as soon as he opened his door. He must've seen the devastation in my face because his expression changed and he let me in without another word.

"I just can't take it anymore." I complained as I sat on the edge of Paul's bed.

"What are you talking about?" he asked as he walked over to the left side of the room, taking a seat on the chair behind the desk. He twisted the chair around so he was facing me.

"Quinn," I stated and he mouthed a big 'oh'.

"Dude, are you sure you're even supposed to be jumping into relationships this quick?" he asked me and I just gave him that what-do-you-think kind of stare. "Okay, maybe you 'know' what you're doing but even so, what would you do if you and-"

"It's not gonna happen Paul. She and I are over. Didn't I make it clear the first time?" I cut him off.

"Whoa, easy there tiger. I didn't mean to strike a nerve." Paul joked and I rolled my eyes. "All that I'm saying is that you should think about it more," he continued.

"I don't know. My head's telling me that I should at least try to be with her or at least become closer," I said looking out the window. We hardly have deep conversations like this so it's kinda hard to talk to him normally.

"Yeah, but what does your heart say?" he asked and completely surprised me with that question.

What does my heart say? I wish I could just ask my heart directly so I could get a direct answer but we all know that that can't happen. I wanted to know all the answers. I wanted to get rid of all my problems but I can't. I wish I had more patience and less belief in magic. Thinking magic can make everything go away is bullshit. I wonder why I always that it was real.

Quinn is someone I see myself with for a very long time. Maybe we will be together someday or maybe she's just another milestone in this life of mine. Either way, friend or lover, I'm sure I'll be there for her no matter what. She seems like that kind of girl you'd want to hold on to because she possesses so many idealistic characteristics that you expect from a true friend. But truthfully, if I were to find the perfect girl for me, she'd fit right in.

After a while of silence, more questions started appearing in my head.

"Do you think Zack and Quinn will be together?" I asked out of vast curiosity. This was something I'd really want to know.

"Wait, wait, wait. That's why you're so down?" he asked quite surprised.

"Why else would you think I'd be so down?" I asked him.

"Well I thought…" he trailed off. "I don't know but no, they're not going to be together trust me." He said sounding super sure of himself.

"Then why did Quinn go out with Zack just now?" I asked him and he smiled.

"Well, I can't tell you that." He said and I swear that smile on his face was so sly that I swear I would've just wiped it off of him with a punch if he wasn't my friend.

"So, they're not on a date?" I asked him as I lay down on the bed.

"No,"

"Then why are they out together then?" I asked eagerly as I got back up to face him.

"You'll see soon enough." Paul said vaguely.

"You do know that I hate surprises, right?" I reminded him.

"I know," he said.

"That's all you can say?" I asked disappointed.

"That's all I can say." He repeated and I sighed.

Well, at least they're not going to be together or anything like that. That's a big relief. I swear if they did go out together, I'd totally grieve for the rest of my life.

After our 'talk', I told him that I needed to be alone for a while so I walked back to my room and lay down on my bed still thinking about what's in store for me. But then my thoughts led right back to her and how someday, I'd want her to be right by my side when I die.

Someday, I know, I'll need her to save me from all this misery. I'll need her to guide me and place me on the right path. She'll be the one who'll save me when the stars explode and I'm stuck in the smoke. I've fought my demons to get her and now I know, that there's no one else but her. Someone like her could save my life.


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up to the shrill sound of my alarm. It told me that it was another day and that I had to get up and face it. I placed both my feet on the ground as I sat on my bed rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I had a show to get ready for but I felt too shitty. I wonder how I pass every single day that goes by knowing that I might never have a shot of being with the girl of my dreams. I know Paul told me that she and Zack had nothing but a friend relationship but somehow, I just don't believe it. I want to hear it from her. Maybe then I'd believe it.

I got up from my bed with heavy thoughts as I got into the bathroom to take a shower. I didn't really know where to go from here. I was stuck to say the least. She was the girl who didn't want me. She was the girl who saw me as more than a guy who sings in a band. She was the one who saw through all of it. My past relationship was based on a lie but with Quinn, I could hardly imagine such an innocent face tell a lie and not feel an ounce of guilt about it. She was it for me. That's all I can say.

Once I got into my clothes, I grabbed my phone to see if anyone sent me a text or at least called me. But they were all unimportant seeing that there were none from her. I don't know why I was so hung up on her but there was really something about her. There was something in her that I wanted and I was determined to get it no matter what.

"Hey dude, how'd you sleep last night?" Paul asked as I went down the elevator and into the lobby.

"It was fine I guess," I said keeping a straight face as we walked outside to where the rest of the guys were.

"Good," he said and I looked at him questioningly but he just shrugged it off.

We all got into the car as soon as I arrived and got breakfast at a local coffee shop. I got a bagel and a cup of coffee while the rest just got coffee and waffles. We got a table and ate our breakfast.

They were all excited for the gig we were doing later in the afternoon. I wasn't sure if I was excited, actually I wasn't sure about what I was feeling, really.

I was absent-mindedly eating my bagel as they all talked and talked. I was staring aimlessly out the window watching people pass by hoping she was somewhere there but she wasn't. It's like she vanished and hid herself from me. Did I do something wrong?

I bit the last of my bagel and finished my coffee and it took me a while to realize that they were actually looking right at me.

"What?" I asked meeting their eyes one by one.

"You sure you're okay?" John asked leaning forward with crossed arms on the table.

"Yes," I said as a matter-of-factly.

"You're thinking about her, aren't you?" Bryan asked cocking an eyebrow at me.

"Depends on who you're talking about," I replied slumping in my seat.

"He's not thinking about his ex, Bry. He's thinking about Quinn," Paul mentioned playing with his coffee stirrer.

"Psh, I knew that," Bryan said as he chuckled nervously.

I rolled my eyes at them and they started another topic since they knew they couldn't get anything more from me. I sighed as I listened in on their conversation. Apparently, they were talking about making a new record.

"I'm sure Matt would totally get with us," Paul said leaning forward.

"Yeah, but if we are going to make a new record, what do you think it should be called?" John asked tilting his head to the side.

"And what kind of songs are we going to write?" Bryan added.

They were adding so many questions and they were starting to fill my head. I needed to have a say in this seeing that I was part of the band.

"Well, I think I have a good idea for a title." I said joining in the conversation. They all stopped talking and looked at me as if I told them I had cancer or some untreatable disease.

"Oh, um, what is it?" Bryan asked awkwardly.

"Love Drunk," I said and they all nodded looking at each other in agreement.

"Guys, you're on in five," the roadie told us as we sat in our dressing room getting ready for the show.

We all got up and followed him backstage as he gave us our cue.

"And now, here they are! Martin, Paul, Bryan and John! Boys Like Girls!" the host said and we walked out and watched as the crowd cheered for us.

"Hey guys, as you may already know, we're Boys Like Girls and we're here to give you what you want! Some music and some lovin'" Paul screamed into the mic.

I placed on a smile and they all started to cheer.

We kicked it off with The Great Escape and followed the set list through and through. Before the fourth song started, I made an announcement.

"So guys, we've been thinking a lot lately and we thought that we weren't giving you enough music." I said into the mic as I drank the bottle of water that was prepared for me. The crowd started hollering as I continued, "So, we're heading back to the studio once the tour ends and we'll start recording for the sake of all you lovely fans out there," I said and they all screamed their lungs out.

"I love you too," I said replying to the group of girls who professed their love for me.

I was so jealous of the way they just said it out loud without thinking about it. I've never really said those words to anyone who deserved it. That's what tore me apart the last time I was in a relationship but at least I saved myself from a pile of misery since that selfish bitch was only in it for the fame. If I told her I loved her, I'm sure it would've been a waste of time.

We played the rest of the set without anymore interruptions and by the end of the show, I was beat.

"Thank you all for coming out and I hope you guys stay tuned for the record!" I said in the mic and they cheered us on.

We all walked off the stage and into the dressing room. I was ready to get some shut eye and prepared to leave in the morning. Arizona was the last stop of this tour. Once this was over, I'll be heading back to Boston for a little break.

Once I opened the door to the dressing room, I saw a red head sitting on the couch facing the TV which showed the stage where we just performed.

"Quinn?" I asked in so much surprise as I walked in the room briskly.

"Oh hey you guys! You guys were so awesome tonight!" she said walking over to us.

I wanted to wrap my arms around her right then and there but I was sweating like hell and I probably smelled like shit. Well not only that, it would also seem sorta off knowing that she's not mine to hold.

So instead of holding her in my arms, I thanked her for her compliment and gave her a sheepish smile. Then, I grabbed the set of clothes that was in the backpack that I brought with me and walked into the bathroom to wash up and change.

The temperature in Arizona seemed really humid and hot so I took a little shower. I dilly dallied for as long as I could possibly imagine. I didn't think she'd be here. She totally caught me off guard and wouldn't it be weird if I were running and screaming right now? I wasn't complacent and righteously composed and that scared the shit out of me. I was scared to face who I've been looking for the whole day. Who in the right mind would be satisfied with himself or herself for that? Definitely not me, that's for sure.

I changed into my clothes and walked out of the bathroom door with the drenched clothing in my hand. I placed it all in my backpack and was surprised to see her still there.

"About time you got out of there," John said getting up and taking his turn in the bathroom.

I rolled my eyes at him as Quinn walked over to me.

"You ready to leave?" she asked me and I looked at her bewildered.

"Leave?" I repeated dumbly.

She smiled and grabbed my hand and walked me towards the door.

"Where are we going?" I asked looking at Paul as she continued to drag me but he just gave me a shrug which made me worry.

Once she got me out of the dressing room, she placed her hair in a messy ponytail and gave me a handkerchief.

"What's this for?" I asked her holding it up as she smiled brightly. She wasn't talking that much. That's what scared me the most.

"It's a blindfold," she said grabbing the hanky from my hand and tip toeing behind me so she can tie it around my eyes. "Can you see anything?" she asked tying the ends of the fabric at the back of my head.

"Nope," I said as soon as she tied it securely.

"Good," she said taking my hand and placing it in hers.

She led me towards a certain direction. I desperately wanted to take the hanky off but I knew that I'd just be a buzzkill if I did so.

I let her drag me to a direction. I heard a door squeak open and then I felt a cold breeze as soon as I took another step. We must be outside.

She and I walked for a while and I was getting more and more anxious as more minutes passed by. She opened a car door and then shoved me in the seat. She made sure that all my body parts were in before shutting the door. Once she made sure that I wasn't going to get hurt, she shut the door and everything fell silent. Then I heard the door beside me open and then shut. Quinn turned on the ignition and the car started moving.

"You know I can call the police and tell them that I've been kidnapped right?" I told her and she snickered.

Time passed us and I think I might have slept a little along the ride but I was still aware of everything around me. She turned on the radio after a while and then I heard music. It filled my ears and made me feel more comfortable but that feeling in the pit of the stomach just kept getting worse.

The car stopped and the butterflies were fluttering like crazy. She got of her side and shut the door. I felt for the door and tried to open the door but Quinn opened it for me. I almost fell but regained balance soon after I got up and out of the car.

It was silent around us. All I heard were our footsteps. She had a hand on my waist as she half-pushed, half-led me to where we were going.

I heard an automatic door slide open with our presence. A wave of cold air met my face as we slid in the door. It was dark through the hanky. I wasn't sure where we were and I wasn't sure if I wanted to find out.

"Quinn? Where the hell are you holding me captive?" I asked after a brief silence. She left me but I heard her footsteps walking somewhere around me. She turned on a few switches before walking back towards me. I must've looked like a fool walking around trying to feel something in front of me. I just hoped no one else was there to see me acting stupid.

"Okay, you can take off the blindfold now," she said walking towards me.

I took off the blindfold and squinted at the bright lights that met my eyes as soon as the thick fabric was off of my face. I took in my surroundings and realized that we were in some kind of grocery store. I looked for a sign that might tell me where we were. I saw a big Wal-Mart sign over head and realized that no one else was in the area.

"You brought to Wal-Mart for what exactly?" I asked walking down the aisles of products that were neatly stacked in racks.

"To have some fun, duh!" she said grabbing a push cart and started chasing me.

I ran for my life as she tried to run me over. What the hell was going through her head right now? Did she bring me here to kill me? I started running faster as she started laughing hard. The joke was on me. Great.

I spun around and faced her using all my strength to stop the push cart. I did that successfully as she ran towards an aisle and got silly string. We were like two kids in a big toy store with no one to tell us not to this and to quit doing that. We were wild and free to do whatever the hell we wanted to.

"What was that for huh?" I asked as she started opening the can up.

"I don't know, I felt like doing it," she said smiling. I smiled at her.

She was so contagious. That smile, the way she walked and talked, it placed me in an area where I just couldn't get out of. There was no way I could get rid of her; no way she could escape from my mind.

She started spraying some on me and I tried to take the can away from her but she ran the other way and I had to chase her down. But I needed supplies so I grabbed some things and set them as traps. She was hiding somewhere and I was prepared for the worst. This meant war. And I wasn't going to lose. Not this time.


End file.
